A MODEL HUSBAND
According to Islam, a model husband has many characteristics and qualities that he should attain, some of which are:
1— Good conduct. Allah said, what translated means,
“And live with them (their wives) honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” [4:19].
Therefore, using soft words that show the meaning of love and respect are among the characteristics of the model husband.
If one feels angry because of Some irresponsible behavior by his wife, he must remember the Hadith of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ that states,
“The woman was created from a crooked rib and will not be made straight for you on one way (that you like). If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you seek to straighten her up, you will break her. Breaking her is divorcing her.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim].
It is imperative that the husband treats his wife in the best possible manner to gain her affection and for her to reciprocate the same.
Also, to ignore the wife in the house for a period of time, because she angered you, for example, is permissible. However, outside of the house, one must not show that he is angry with his wife.
2— The Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, what translated means,
“The believer is not one who heralds (false) accusations, curses, uses obscenities, or is rude.” [Al- Bukhari].
Being polite with all Muslims, including the wife, is obligatory.
3— The Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said,
“The best of you one who is the best to his family.” [At-Tabarani].
This is a general statement that obliges men to simply be good to their wives.
4— Many men mistakenly think that their wives have feelings and opinions not different from theirs.
Also, many erroneously think that material needs, such as food, clothes and money, are the most important things to their wives.
However, women often have independent personalities and personal preferences different from those of their husbands.
Furthermore, some men think that their absence from home for prolonged periods of time is compensated by their wives’ freedom to come and go as they please.
The husband’s presence in the home is of crucial importance to the welfare of his marriage. The wife will feel lonely with the passage of time when her husband is absent from the home.
She will feel that her husband is not fulfilling her emotional needs and that raising the children is vested on her alone.
She will not feel that she is her husband’s partner in life. No matter how patient the wife is or how strong her faith is, she will feel abandoned and neglected.
5— Marriages can be saved if husbands pay more attention to their wives’ needs. Husbands should show compassion and care.
They should satisfy their wives’ legitimate needs.
Most importantly they should realize that their children are also their responsibility.
On the Day of Judgment, Allah will question men regarding their obligations towards their families.
At that time, excuses will be of no benefit.
The Muslim man who fears Allah will strive his very best to direct the way his wife and children live.
He will fill his life with religion and educate himself, his wife and his children to live according to the laws that Allah had decreed.
How can any man meet this goal if he is ignoring his responsibilities?!